he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
