We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
