You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
