Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
