end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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