if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
