I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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