worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
