All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Randomize