the new term for farting is butt boxing.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
