So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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