Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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