You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
