he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
