Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
