Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
A bitchslap is in order.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
