apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Everything about him screamed your future.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
