I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
