I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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