And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize