sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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