fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
