last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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