she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
