just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
