I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
