We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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