Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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