the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
