you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
