She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
