i may or may not be watching the land before time
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
