girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at about main and main street
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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