I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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