THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
