just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
