oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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