Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
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She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
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Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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