Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
