i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
