yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
