At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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