Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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