There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize