Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
