just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
