Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
