If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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