Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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