It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
