So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
