Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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