No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
