names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
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you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
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Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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