the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
The adults are the big ones right?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
